Jun 2008

I could not have conjured a more poetic script for the last 5 days of my life. The degree to which the energy of the universe touched me, was one, of only two such moments I have ever experienced such real power in my time. While the traditionally dominant realist within wanted to sum it up practically, as a random sequence of events. The routinely quiet, and subservient spiritual side of me was proclaiming the obvious.... This is real, and tangible, right now, not yesterday or yesteryear, right now. PAY ATTENTION! So I did, good boy. Having just spent the better part of a week resting my battered body, in the bay area. I was dropped of in a little hidden gem known as Petaluma Ca, The drop off felt allot like the first day all over again. There I was standing in the middle of a relatively large town, the sun was quickly slipping away, I new nobody, and a tinge of fear had again began to creep in the reaches of my gut. I thought to myself...Mike you have got to learn, once and for all to just trust. Trust in your mission , trust in your instincts, And trust in your tools. I hauled myself, and entourage of gear to a local cafe, pulled out my laptop and checked my Couch surfing profile to see if anyone had replied to my request for free lodging in Petaluma. Ahh instant relief, Neil a local Petaluma jazz musician had replied, and left a phone# for me to call. I quickly called him, and was retrieved, thankfully from my now dark, and cold Petaluma street corner. My time with Neil was a nice calm before what I had firmly decided, was going to be a flurry of speedy hitchhiking to come. I had began to feel a little bit behind schedule... I know, im not on a schedule! Hard to break some of these habits. Neil dropped me off on the road to the coast, at around 9am the next morning fully rested, fed, and feeling recommitted to my reality. I was quickly picked up on the outskirts of Petaluma, and driven to highway 1, which runs alongside the coast, almost all the way through California, and Oregon. I had been quite excited to experience this road, and its people, the tales of great hitching, glorious camp sites, and friendly authorities, are endless along this stretch.

I find myself for the first time on this trip surrounded by absolutely nothing, no businesses, no people, and only an occasional car passing me, with friendly nods of approval and thumb and forefinger pinched in an effort to show how far they were going. The spot I had been delivered too overlooked a twisted coastal road set atop jagged black cliffs that protect the towns above from the sometimes erratic Pacific Ocean. I took my time and fully engaged my new surroundings, finding the best spot with a view to catch a ride from, and then I posted up, "North." As I sat there In the splendor of the ocean, I eventually looked down in sulking fashion to play with the dirt at my heels, and realized I was right on top of a perfectly intact eagle feather. I picked it up, held it in the sun light, and thought...Surely this is a sign of good things to come. When I had finally disengaged the feather, I looked up to see a truck had pulled up beside me. A beautiful blond cowgirl was telling me how she was only going 2 miles up the road, and if I wanted I could jump in. The stimulation of the feather, the girl, and the potential ride embarrassingly sent me into stupid mode, I stuttered... Ahhh, Ummm, Ahhhh, Ok. It is important to note that it is almost always a really bad idea to accept short rides, but I swear, after I had regained enough composure to respond intelligently, I had an instinctual response within, to take the ride... and I followed it. After the usual formalities, I asked the obvious... What are you doing out here? Sheila began to describe her volunteer involvement at a "Equine Guided Education" program at a 1000 acre ranch down the road. We discussed the details of both our lives for a time, and we both knew almost simultaneously, and without a doubt why we had met. I offered to do some interviews and shoot some quick footage of their interactions with a group of inner city youth that had been driven up from San Fransisco. Right about this time Sheila realized that she had driven quite a bit further than the previously agreed 2 miles. No matter, the new plan was to turn South, and head for the ranch...Wrong direction Mike! So much for my flurry of speedy hitchhiking up the coast to make up for lost time. About 20 minutes after meeting Sheila I find myself standing on the stunning Medicine Horse Ranch, doing a relaxed form of an interview with owner/director Alyssa Aubrey. In all honesty I thought it would be pretty far fetched for Alyssa to allow a guy literally just picked off the road to come in and film her, and a group of teenagers interacting with the 5 or so horses. It wouldn't hurt to try though. Alyssa had an intense energy that surrounded her as she spoke,as if she didn't need to speak with me to know my character. We talked about her life long love of horses, and her belief that I had been sent there for a very specific reason. Of course I felt the exact same way, and couldn't wait to actually see, and film the work that she spoke so lovingly about. For the next three days I was allowed full privileges on the ranch, I filmed the full process of growth in three distinct stages within each teenager. The girls went through these stages of sensitivity training with the horses, and then Alyssa would insert a pow wow session in between to discuss the experiences, results and then a final prep for the next stage. Lesson one, horses can detect the slightest hint of fear, anxiety, or tension, and they respond accordingly as they directly mirror the energy being put out by their handler. I could see this occuring without question as most of the girls entered the arena with very prevalent expressions of fear exuding, as you would expect from your average city bound teenager.The horses responded to this without hesitation, horses resist negative energy intensely. Lesson two, confidence building, I witnessed as each girl did their very best not to put out fearful vibes, many of them failing in the task, readjusting, and trying again until they eventually succeeded with proper coaching, and relaxation techniques. Lesson three, living full speed with their new found confidences, each girl was presented with tasks that would cause even the most composed among us to put out stressful energy. In the end, I witnessed as each youth was morphed from fearful, crawling, infancy to upright full speed, vessels of confidence wielding young ladies. All in three days! Alas in Alyssa's own words, what if I had the ability to give them more time? Where would they be then?
My evenings were equally enjoyable, they consisted of me being picked up by Sheila the original "ride giver" and driven all over Marin county in search of the best local music, beer, and sights. We shared many conversations on life, the meaning of, and other daunting, seemingly unanswerable questions. Sheila another, in a long line of people I have met on the road that was in a state of major flux, was volunteering at the ranch in hopes of finding something more meaningful in life. Sheila had it all the house, the husband, the status the money etc etc. Yet it was lacking something, a sense of reality. In her own words, she was escaping her perfect little life in a box, to "shovel shit" at the ranch. This gave her a peace, a sense of simplicity that was much more meaningful to her, than all the typical checklist items she had already acquired. Something I understand all to well. Sheila was completely aware that something was wrong with the picture she had created over the years. Beautiful, and sparkling on the outside, but tumultuous on the in. These were a few of her epiphanies, that im sure she would want me to send out to the world; The standards of perfection that we have set for ourselves as a society are completely unreachable for the vast majority of us. Of course this doesn't stop us from working ourselves silly trying to attain the illusion. Even those of us, like Sheila who have actually reached the upper echelon of that standard quickly realize their is not necessarily a blissful state of awe to be had once you have arrived. What you do get, often consists of wasted years, trying to reach a meaningless position of fat pockets, broken relationships, lost time, and regret. A congratulations is due the untold numbers of you out their that are resisting this wasteful theory of perfection, and have entered onto a path of rejection. Rejection of a status quo that often brings with it lasting lessons in futility. It takes courage to step out there, to do something different, like shoveling shit for fun? Dont knock it till you try it folks! To do these things will often bring with it considerable rejection from your peers, that want you to continue reaching out with them to this blind bliss. But enough of that. I could go on forever about my interactions at the ranch. The time was true, and a meaningful experience to me for so many reasons, but I will resist the urge to ramble even more, I have to save something for final production. My time was up, to cap things off, I was driven North to a small town that consisted primarily of a seafood restaurant, where I was graciously fed by Alyssa and partner Gary along with a few drinks, and some stimulating conversation. They set me let loose on a gorgeous beach that im told they shot the movie "birds,"on.
I found a hollow nook in the cliffs, and set up my tent in defiance of the no camping sign nearby and enjoyed what I would have to call the most Beautiful sunset I have ever seen. In the morning I worked through my routine of coffee, breakfast, push ups, ocean bath, and hike to the road. I had barely put my bag down when a motorcycle pulls up, and low and behold its Neil, my C.S host from Petaluma. He wants to know why im not in Oregon yet? All I could do was laugh, and ramble out my best quick rendition of the last three days. We shared a laugh or two and Neil took off down the road much as I had four days earlier at his house. I sat on the side of the road that morning, and marveled at how blessed I been these last few days...surely this cannot continue at the same pace. About fifteen minutes into that thought, 500 or so, charged surfers had converged on the very spot I was using as a hitching post. Appearing from nowhere almost simultaneously. Apparently one of these groups out of 500 was thinking the very same thing I was... Way to many people! As they pulled out of the parking lot to go North in search of better waves, on less crowded beaches. This crew of two gave me a kind look and said... jump in dude! I did, and there I was, off again. The guys were both 18, recent high school graduates, that had decided to do something other than immediately attend secondary school. What could possibly be more important than school you might ask? Catching waves of course! But before you judge their decision to harshly, you should listen to their well thought out answers to why? I spent the day filming surf video, interviews, and afterwards was treated to some very fine Indian cuisine by the two young surfers. In my time with the surfers I found myself thinking...Why are these two guys obviously young, and most likely strapped for cash driving me around, buying me lunch etc etc? My honest opinion was that they related allot to what I was doing. At a point in there lives where allot of big decisions were about to be made regarding their futures, I think they found some solice in the fact that I, a young person also, was actively rejecting that which they were about to enter into. With there opportunity to send a message on camera, they revealed to me their frustrations about entering an obviously flawed college system, that they felt was completely broken. A system that puts more emphasis on partying, fun, and frivolity than it did education. They felt strongly that even if they were to enter it, and succeed at ignoring the distractions, they would likely walk away from their college experiences with sub par, force fed educations, not to mention a pile of debt. Again a problem that I could relate to personally. We spent some time talking about how complaining was not the answer. How do we fix this? among many other daunting problems that face our country, and more specificly the youth that are charged with fixing the mess? It is one thing to complain, It is another thing entirely to act out in defiance of this sad, status quo. When one does so, does it make a difference? In truth, Im still trying to figure that one out for myself, the opposition is powerful, and much more experienced at quelling these frustrations with illusions of justice. How can any one of us make a difference? I think that it goes something like this. Cliche, but true...Become the change, that you want to see. Just do it! Your example will attract others of like mind, all with different powers, and skills sets. From this pool of talents a proper organizer should emerge, now this collective ball of energy has the ability to create momentous change. Before the boys dropped me at the next town North. I thought to myself... that was a kind of serious way to end our interaction with one another, but I quickly reminded myself of how things always happen a certain way, and for a reason. Maybe those simple words will play a role in their future, or mine.
This was the end of my great sequences, I hope I did them justice. The greatness of the story lies with the beauty of the characters as they behaved in the face of a total stranger, the stark contrasts, situation to situation, and the interconnectivity between the medium, that was me. It all just flowed perfectly, and I am positive that the story has yet to have reached its true ending with this group of self proclaimed misfits.
The medicine horse ranch is a nonprofit resource available to all interested parties. If you are interested in becoming either a participant, or a sponsor of this amazing teaching technique please visit, www.horsesenseforteens.com or call Alyssa @1-707-878-2440

Music, such a simple, yet profoundly complex formula of movements, the movements resulting sounds, and the end result of life changing effects that can occur, within a patient listener. Music has always had a profound, and special influence on pretty much everything I have ever experienced in my life. Sometimes it drives me forward, other times it holds me back, and it almost always does a beautiful job of accentuating my life path. When I first set out on this expedition, I had notably high expectations of how I would include music in every nook, crack, and cranny of this project. But as we all know the cards rarely fall perfectly in all situations, and that was the case prior to my time with Michelle. I was again reminded of how all things happen in good time and for a reason. A chronically happy soul, mother and drummer supreme, Michelle was always sporting a giant smile, and I immediately felt the music of life flowing through this person. Was I ever right on that note."No pun intended." Amongst many great moments that were shared sitting around the outdoor fireplace, discussing life, music, and the pursuit of happiness. Their were a few adventures that we shared that I will absolutely never forget, because they will quite possibly have an enlightening effect on the remainder my life. Although I am a lover all things music, I have always understood that their is a quality gap that exists between most of us appreciative listeners, and the artists that create the sounds. Not having grown up in a musical family, and having never been pushed to release my creative side in such away, I had become quite content to sit on the sidelines and just be thankful for the creative abilities that I did have. I had never seriously entertained the idea of joining the ranks of sound makers, but Michelle had decided that the sidelines should not be my fate. Against my humble protests, she made me accompany her to the local music store so that she and I, could pick out a very shiny, and very sweet sounding harp. Otherwise known as a harmonica. I cant even describe the feeling I get when I begin to make sounds with my new best friend, something like going to another world, a true escape, and I cannot wait for the day that I can actually make nice sounds, that others can enjoy. Until then you will just have to bare with my racket. Suprisingly this was only the beginning of my exploration into new music with Michelle, later I was given drum lessons by the expert herself, and then taken out on the town to hear the best of what Concord California had to offer in the way of Blues, Jazz, and Rock. Man, what a time I am having! I know I wont be forgetting this one. Again I parted ways with Michelle, and her son Ryan, knowing that yet another great new friendship had just been born.

The timing could not have been better, at the exact moment that I had come within reasonable pickup distance from my brother Joel's house in Alameda, my feet had reached a level of deterioration I can only describe as, "hamburger feet." Yes that means blood, peeling, pus and bruising. Regardless I could not help but feel supremely satisfied with the accomplishments of the week prior, my brain was telling me... its all good keep going with it, experience as much as you can before you head North again. But my body was singing a very different tune, stop, Stop, STOP DAMMIT! Unable to argue with a voice that obnoxious I stopped. I shot my brother Joel an email, and presto im living slow, and easy again. First thing to strike a chord, in my now, very relaxed state, was the contrasting environment. I had already become quite comfortable living on nothing, and bouncing around moment to moment. But within a matter of 15 minutes from sending my email, my brother an aspiring brew master, and his 7 months pregnant wife Chantel were treating me to what tasted like the food of kings, and a some very, very fresh brew. I was overcome with a feeling of heart felt gratitude. This forced me to ponder deeply something that has been on my heart from the start... Im traveling the world living on kindness,hoping that people will let their guards down long enough to buy in to the message, but I sure feel like I am doing allot of "taking" from my hosts. This is really not the message I want to send to people. What can I do reciprocate all of this kindness? So right there... I made a pact with myself, to make everything I have to give, available to every single person that I meet. "So to any future hosts that might be reading this in anticipation of my arrival. Take note, and please allow me the opportunity to give back, I really want to!" After a couple of slow days with Joel and Chantel, I was kindly passed along to another relative that lived further North, and had agreed to let me continue my recovery at her house. She had also promised to tour me around her neck of the woods to get a taste of the local music scene. I cant wait!

Call it what you like. A haven for misguided, over educated, secular progressives. Or... a place to come if you, have a desire to live, say, or act out, in any way you want without incessant harassment by the powers that be. While I completely understand why many people would fear the diverse lifestyle that is very much "in your face" here. I cant think of a place that I have been in the United States that embraces true freedom to the degree that the Bay area does. I have spent the last week exploring as many sub cultures as I could possibly make time for, and no they were not all hippie, non conformist clubs. Some were Christian fundamentalists, community leaders, and just "normal every day people." I have been pleasantly surprised as my notions of where our country is headed as a whole slowly began to disintegrate, even if only for a couple of days. My hope was partially revived as I interviewed person after person from all walks of life that believed in uncompromising freedom for all, Peace, and a sustainable future for our world. I was even more surprised by the sheer number of people I spoke with, that were actively involved on one front or another, walking their talk. Good job San Fransisco. My time hear can be summed up with one word "Kindness." I was confronted on every corner of this massive city by people that wanted to know what I was doing, and if I needed any help? My usual response was "yes" if you are interested I would like to talk to you about some things on camera? This usually led to a walk, either to the home of the participant, or a park or cafe where relative silence could be had for the interview. On one such occasion I was taken to a large park filled with about 1000 happy people playing frisbee, barbecuing, just sitting around talking and enjoying the perfect 80* weather. I watched and filmed in amazement, as a large bus filled with costumed people pulled up to the park. The group piled out, lined up, and proceeded to run circles through the park, singing songs, dancing and playing games with the stunned summer crowd. While I could describe what I was seeing in many different ways, I think the way I felt would paint a much better picture. I was feeling happy, yeah just completely happy. I stood there with the biggest smile that I could manage, and watched as these costumed marauders put a smile on every single face in that park. Later that day, I interviewed a progressive preacher from Berkeley along with some of the flock, three nudists riding for the environment in San Fransisco, and a couple of gangsters in Oakland trying to "keep it real." My time in this city was special, maybe I just hit it on a good day, maybe it was because I was carrying around a huge camera, or the bright yellow sign on my back.But I like to think that this was a sort of diverse mecca for people actively trying to involve themselves in a beautiful world filled with interesting, kind and creative people.

Hitching out of Irvine was not an easy task, it is difficult to describe the feeling that overcomes you as 100's of 1000's of frantic, flustered, and chronically frustrated drivers pass you by in the heat of the day, pretending to busy themselves with changing the radio station, and refusing to make eye contact. Something like being invisible, it gets to a point if you wait long enough, that you really do wonder, can these people see me? Then you remind yourself that it is absurd to think such thoughts and the whole thing becomes funny. I laugh out loud and try to send out a smile, and some positive energy. About 5 hours into my character building session, a teenager pulls off on the shoulder and looks at me franticly as if to say... hurry up get in the car. He looks absolutely harmless, so I skip the formalities, like where are you headed, and is it ok if I film you? I throw my enormous bag in his back seat, and jump in. It turns out the kid is from Texas, and is headed all the way to San Fransisco. I am immediately reminded of how good things throughout my entire life, have consistently sprouted from the worst of situations , and I make a mental note never to despair about catching a ride again. 3 hour's into the trip we had completely dissected the kids entire life, he was a recent high school graduate from a private school, and the sole child of two intellectuals that desperately wanted to send him East to attend a prestigious ivy league school. He had some very different thoughts though, He claimed that in a rebellious fervor he had built a small empire dealing marijuana back in Texas, and was currently headed to San Fransisco to meet with his supplier. I quickly wrote this comment off, and assumed it was complete braggadocio. This kid probably thought that any respectable hitchhiker would be impressed with his sense of all things worldly, and had thusly concocted this story to gain my approval. Regardless of my doubts of his sincerity we reached San Fransisco both of us feeling as though we had made a new friend in the world. He was quick to offer up the couch in his large hotel room at the Hilton, I said thanks, and he said I will be right back, I have to meet somebody down the street . I gratefully laid down my gear in the plush hotel room, and quickly fell asleep. 1 hour later the door opens, and my host stumbles through the door,shoulders slumped, tears in his eyes as he falls on the hotel bed in child like fashion. By the time the poor kid pulled himself together, and had built up the courage to speak, I was all ears. With wet eyes, and a quivering lip, he softly stated, I just lost $90,000........... Any part of me that had doubted this kids initial sincerity flew out the window. I have seen the look of true desperation before, both in my own life, and in the faces of suffering people all over the world, it is not a look that is easily manufactured. The story went like this.....Kid walks down the street to meet his contact, ignorantly leaves his bag in contacts car, goes in to a restaurant for five minutes. When they come out all the cars on the street had their windows broken, and personal effects stolen, Kids scarred to death because an official exchange never took place. I felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility to help this guy, he clearly had no business in this lifestyle, and had the rare gift of being born surrounded by love,intelligence,and money. I had already spent some time counseling him from afar in the car, regarding his decisions to abandon his family in pursuit of a career in drugs, but he needed some well thought out guidance. At this unique juncture I thought he might actually listen to me, so I made a rare decision to operate against my instincts, and I spent the night in the Hilton, went to breakfast with the kid, and unloaded some carefully worded advice his way before I said goodbye. An interesting start to the my Bay area adventures.